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The Choice is a gift to humanity. One of those rare and eternal stories that you don't want to end and that leave you forever changed. Dr. Eger's life reveals our capacity to transcend even the greatest of horrors and to use that suffering for the benefit of others. She has found true freedom and forgiveness and shows us how we can as well." Don’t ask your partner stupid questions like, “How are you?” because they are going to say “fine,” even if they’re not fine. Instead, make a statement. “Good to see you,” “I missed you.” And then you have good sex. Related: Resolving Marital Conflict: How to Repair Your Marriage #38. You Can’t Want Something For Another Person. You Can Only Discover What’s Right For You. The spirit never dies. It’s possible for grief to guide us in a positive direction, toward a life with more joy and meaning and purpose . Talk to the loved one who has passed. Say what you’re thankful for: the memories you cherish, the skills he or she taught you, the gifts you carry with you because that person touched your life. Then ask, “What do you wish for me?
Edith Eger - Lewis Howes Edith Eger - Lewis Howes
Often the emotional responses that get ingrained in us aren’t even our own— they’re ones we’ve learned from watching others. So you can ask yourself, “Is this my fear? Or someone else’s?” If the fear really belongs to your mother or father or grandparent or spouse, you don’t have to carry it anymore. Just put it down. The Choice is a gift to humanity. One of those rare and eternal stories that you don’t want to end and that leave you forever changed. Dr. Eger’s life reveals our capacity to transcend even the greatest of horrors and to use that suffering for the benefit of others. She has found true freedom and forgiveness and shows us how we can as well.’—DESMOND TUTU, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate#TheChoice thechoicememoir.com When I was 40, I was told to go for a doctorate and I said, “It’s impossible because by the time I get a doctorate, I’ll be 50.” And the person said, “You’ll be 50 anyway.” Isn’t that brilliant? World renowned psychologist and internationally bestselling author, Edith Eger’s, powerful New York Times bestselling book The Choice told the story of her survival in the concentration camps, her escape, healing, and journey to freedom. Readers around the world wrote to tell her how The Choice moved them and inspired them to confront their own past and try to heal their pain. They asked her to write another, more prescriptive book. Eger’s second book, The Gift, expands on her message of healing and provides a hands-on guide that gently encourages readers to change the thoughts and behaviors that may be keeping them imprisoned in the past. There is no forgiveness without rage. You got to go through that rage and see whether you are ready to forgive because it’s not up to me to forgive you. It’s up to me to be actually able to be for myself. And for myself [means that I] need to be free, [and so] I give myself a gift. I don’t have any godly powers to forgive you or anyone else, but I do what’s humanly possible and then hand it over.”– Dr. Edith EgerMy patients say it all the time: “I want him to…” or, “I want her to…” But you can’t want something for another person. You can only discover what’s right for you.”
The Gift | Book by Edith Eva Eger | Official Publisher Page The Gift | Book by Edith Eva Eger | Official Publisher Page
A moving conversation with the renowned psychologist and Holocaust survivor, about her complicated life and the lessons it taught her More than by what we say, children learn by watching what we do. If adults create a home environment where anger isn’t allowed to be expressed, or where anger is vented in harmful ways, children learn that strong feelings aren’t permissible or safe. Sophia and Dr. Eger discuss the power of thought, how the most obnoxious person can be your best teacher, why “How are you doing?” is a stupid question, and how love is what you do rather than what you say. What frustration triggers keep going unresolved in your relationship? How can you change the dance at step one, before you fall into the old cycle? Decide on one thing to do differently the next time frustration brews. Then do it. Take note of how it went and celebrate any change. Related: How to Set Boundaries? 5 Steps to Establish Healthy Emotional Boundaries #18. Sometimes the Hardest Way to Show Up For Ourselves Is to Ask For Help
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The great-grandmother has a 96-year-old boyfriend and loves swing dancing, though that favorite pastime has slowed down a bit because “his legs are not keeping up,” she said. In her new book, The Gift , Edith talks about 12 imprisoning beliefs that many people in the world are facing. We didn’t have time to get into all 12, but I asked Edie if she had a couple of pieces of wisdom from her book that she could share with us. One of those pieces was about forgiveness: Guilt is when you blame yourself, when you believe something is your fault. It’s important to separate guilt from remorse. Remorse is an appropriate response to a harmful mistake we’ve made or a wrong we’ve committed. It’s more akin to grief. It means accepting that the past is the past, that it can’t be undone, and allowing yourself to feel sad about it. I can feel remorse and recognize that all I’ve lived through, all the choices I’ve made, have brought me to today. Remorse is in the present. And it can coexist with forgiveness and freedom.
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