Hurt People Hurt People: Hope and Healing for Yourself and Your Relationships

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Sin caused all of the decay, destruction and loss that all mankind feels and sees today. Sin caused all the hurts that we have. Whenever I ponder forgiveness and reconciliation, two things come up for me: first, God’s promise of forgiveness, and then second, the real trouble I have believing in it. How is it that God can promise to forgive anyone and anything if we but ask? And what does that have to do with reconciliation? The process of forgiveness they describe here is not even really about the person doing the harm, but rather the person who has been harmed. I forgive out of compassion for myself. I let go of the hurt and the anger, and walk into a space of healing and transformation. If you want to be compassionate and try to help those people, make sure your boundaries are solid and be prepared for some conflict. Don’t take it personally because it’s not personal. The way they act toward other people is typically a reflection of what is happening inside them. So long as you act ethically and upright, you have nothing to worry about.

It also seems true, though, that at any given time the humans on this planet exist on a wide spectrum in terms of the extent to which they are hurt VS healed. While some “lost souls” are utterly contorted by pain and living in a state of near-total unconsciousness, others have attained remarkably luminous states of being: uncommon degrees of wholeness, enlightenment, embodied awareness, self-realization. I have met beings in this world who seemed to me to be nearing ‘ascended master’ or ‘ bodhisattva‘ status. The defense of compromise communicates the following: “I will give myself to emotional risk based on the amount of risk you take.” While it seems logical at first, compromise in a relationship is a form of demanding that the other person has to prove herself or himself over and over again, and it is never enough. The other person has the experience of never being able to do enough. “I will give 50% if you will give 50%,” never adds up to 100%. Although that process may work in business, it is destructive to loving relationships. Healthy relationships require that a person be 100% emotionally involved, with the daring hope that the other person will also join. 4. We defend ourselves, finally, through cowardice.Hurt people hurt people- we might encounter such individuals every day at work, school or even within our family circle. When we come across someone with this level of emotional baggage, it can be quite challenging to maintain a healthy relationship with them. Best wishes on the winding Path. May you grow with the flow and find countless auspicious blessings and surprises. And have plenty of fun in the process. Embrace your intrinsic powers, and shine, shine as brightly as you possibly can. But also, recognize your place

That is a very foreign concept to some folks. To most people, anger is a negative emotion to avoid because it doesn’t feel good to them. They don’t want conflict. They want peace and quiet. If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility,” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote. Furthermore, we can sit with this fear and the feelings of pain beneath it; we can look at these feelings calmly, in the light of relaxed, open, non-judgmental awareness. This is quite difficult to do, but often when we do this we find that the pain and fear begin to dissolve. Through this meditative process we become more aware of our emotions and behaviors and less likely to act unconsciously.The defense that protects can eventually become the defense that damages our ability to engage in life fully with full-hearted participation. Full- hearted participation, meaning a person is fully engaged physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually is a good definition of courage. The defenses that protect us can eventually become the diminishment of our courage. The defenses that protect us can eventually become the diminishment of our courage. You may compare your relationship to those you see on social media, which are often romanticized or fictionalized versions of real relationships. Your failure to achieve this type of closeness with your partner might cause you to be hurtful. 9. You Seek Control Not only will you personally begin to feel lighter, freer, and resultantly happier. But you will also begin to notice the onset of these feelings in the people whom you find yourself surrounded .