Mom loses her shit journal: Mom loses her shit journal

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She raised the pitchfork over her head like an axe and slammed it down on the cooler. She wound up like a golf swing and teed off right in the middle of the driveway, sending larger parts of the cooler off into the yard. The lightness of the Styrofoam made her seethe with anger. She ran and swung, sending bits and pieces of the cooler all over the place. Shards of Styrofoam flew like feathers across our lawn. She just screamed at me because I asked her to play by herself and told her I'm not doing it anymore. Saying 'I have no friends and you won't play with me, you're so horrible' she does have friends, she means not with her right now, it made me feel awful but I just can't do it all the time. On the days in with her I'm asleep on the sofa by 6 when her dad gets in and I'm out until 7.30am when I get up for work. I'm miserable. A toxic relationship is typically a two-way street. But in a mother-child relationship, the parent does wield the bulk of the emotional responsibility — hence why there are a lot more toxic moms than toxic daughters. It’s not always clear when a parent is crossing a line, but experts agree that signs your mom is toxic can be found in the way she speaks to you.

I’m so blessed that I come from such a close family. Even though my parents are divorced, I’m so close to everyone in my family. My sister is my best friend and just having that relationship with her has got me through so many situations. When my parents got divorced, she was the only person that really understood. I have always been able to depend on her and I hope she feels that she could depend on me. One of my biggest parenting fears has always been that I will royally screw up my kids. They are relatively defenseless, and I have always been concerned with sending them straight to the therapist couch. One day though, I had the kind of day my kids will definitely, at some point, relive in a therapist’s office. Especially if they’re alone. But even if they’ve got a great relationship with your other parent/loads of mates, it’s important to ring them three times more than you would normally. Because they might want to rant, they might want to talk it through, and they probably feel incredibly shit so having the human they birthed chatting to them will automatically make them feel better. She snatched up the cooler, stomped into the driveway, and threw it down. My brother, sister, and I watched in awe (and growing alarm) from the safety of a closed screened door. Mommy had never behaved this way before, and we were frightened.I think grieving and how best to support friends is something we don't always do well in our country (I may be wrong). People have said sometimes they feel awkward/don't know what to say, so say nothing. Hannah found that her mum really receded into herself during the job hunt, and it wasn’t until she went to see someone that things started turning around: ‘I think it’s impossible to job hunt when you’re depressed, because you’re so much less productive,’ she says. ‘When my mum felt really down, having someone to talk to meant she felt like she was taking care of herself, and it gave her the confidence to keep applying. She did eventually get a job, but it wasn’t until she’d started taking citalopram.’ If your parents live together, still call them because there’s only so much ‘I’m sad because I have no job any more’ you can say to the person you live with until they get irritated. It feels good to rant at a fresh ear. Be a fresh ear.

Sometimes toxic comments go beyond words. If your mom lets out a long sigh or a guttural noise when you try to talk to her, Pinsly says it could be her way of showing that “you’ve let her down.” If it happens regularly, it can start to feel toxic, especially if your mom does it as a way to make you give in and meet her needs. When she stopped/calmed down and said sorry I would always tell her a line was drawn under it/ that was the end of it and have a big hug/say I love her. Visit them, go round, book a Friday off work and do a long weekend. Sit around and watch TV with them. Don’t ever tell them you’re doing it because you want to cheer them up, though, because they’ll feel like a kid. I slept really well as a baby, then got to the age of about five and seemingly turned into an insomniac overnight. I'm 46 now and my mum still reminisces about my weird sleep issues.

I can't say anything to anyone IRL as my family aren't the sort to ever say something's bothering them and none of my friends have kids. Wine and chocolate is a classic when it comes to Mother’s Day presents, and for a reason. This luxury personalised gift hamper from Farrar and Tanner contains a bottle of very decent Calvet Chateauneuf-du-Pape, a jar of exceedingly moreish chocolate almonds and some gorgeous stem ginger.